The first rule of binge eating: don’t get caught.
When I make it to the grocery store, I make my move swiftly to locations holding the most calories (ice cream or candy), scanning for anyone I know or might have once known. A familiar face would cause me to either do a couple walking laps around the store or make my purchase quicker, whichever holds the greatest probability of flying under their radar. I have a target in mind, something a normal person might relegate to their subconscious as a ‘craving.’ But that’s the thing about bingeing -you don’t crave, you obtain. Once I grab the target, I make a quick calculation. If no self-checkout lines are around, or if all lines have too many people (which would force me to wait in line and answer to the judging eyes of other customers), I might buy the bag of Hershey’s Nuggets with Toffee and Almonds with another, more innocent good. Like salad mix. Salad mix with chocolate says I’m healthy, but I also like to indulge. At least one of those statements is true.
It’s a carryable package all on its own, but I ask for a plastic bag -just in case there’s a familiar face between the exit door and my car. Once I book it to my ride, I open the bag and pull out a small handful and inhale them as I start the car and adjust the radio station and check my mirrors. They’re good. Everything I hoped they would be. After the first couple pieces though, the rest of the package is significantly less satisfying, even disgusting. But I finish it to dispose of the evidence. I tell myself that this is the last one, that I should commit to finishing the bag. Except, I know this isn’t the last time I’ll be making an emergency call to the grocery store. Well, I don’t know at the surface, but some part of me knows. Water is important at the point, you don’t want the taste of chocolate in your mouth when the guilt sets in.
I have this theory; binge eaters could make great spies if they used their talents better. We’re masters of deception, to ourselves as well as all those around us. Bingeing also happens to be a great counter to those who call the overweight lazy and ignorant. It’s very clear that both energy and conscious planning go into obtaining a “fix.”
So when a couple scientists at the Scripps Research Institute release a report linking the neuropathway triggers of junk foods to heroin, I absolutely believe them.








